They say that you are stuck at the age where you experience the most pain.i believe this to be true though I'm unsure at which age I experienced the most pain yet one incident roams my mind even though consciously that incident doesn't phase me.In a session with my therapist in healing the inner child, she (my inner child) went to that incident.
I think I was 7 at the time and I was in Durban with my father at my granny's flat. My mother decided to come see me as soon as she arrived from Johannesburg. Her and my father got into a fight which all stemed from my father's girlfriend being there and pregnant at the time. I don't remember much about what followed between them two but I do remember my father's girlfriend, Natisha, taking me into the room and entertaining me with this little toy monkey... eventually my mother came to get me, we walked to my other granny that night.
I don't know why my mind is stuck there but what I do know is from there on out things were never the same, it was never peaceful between them thereafter. At 7 I became the mediator between them two.
When I look back on that day today I find the silver lining, the calm in the chaos. You see that day was the first time I bonded with Natisha, the first day she came to my rescue. Who would have known that she would become my go to, my strength, my confidante in my later years. God blessed me with an angel in the form of a step mother and even with my father and her separation, she never stopped loving me as her own. Her girl child as she likes to say.
At what age was your most pain? What has you in a time loop?
She refused to love me less
And because of that I believe there is always beauty in the mess.